"You had better do something
to improve that attitude!" How many of you have either heard
these words or repeated them to yourself?
But what does it mean to improve your attitude? What is attitude
anyway? Many of us have lost sight of what it is and how it can
help us in our riding.
Attitude is simply a person's tendency to classify objects or
events, and then react to them in a predictable way. For example,
ten-year-old Jane views all adults as authority figures and consistently
responds to them in a respectful way. We may say she has a respectful
or courteous attitude towards adults. Or, Mark believes he always
makes mistakes at horse shows. He responds to competitive situations
by becoming nervous and withdrawn. We could say that Mark has
a fearful attitude toward competition.Paying attention to your
attitude can definitely have a
positive impact on your riding. What follows are some facts about
attitude, and how to improve yours in and out of the show ring.
Facts About Attitude:
1. You have an attitude,
whether or not you are conscious of it or want it! It is revealed
in your behaviour and your responses to situations. If a rider
tends to miss lessons and makes excuses about why she cannot
ride, we may say she has a poor attitude toward riding. We make
this assessment based on observations over time. What does your
own behaviour reveal about your attitude? What would three of
the closest people in your life likely have to say about it?
Bring your attitude to a conscious level and you will be ready
for change.
2. Attitude is not just a
state of mind, but a way of being.
Your attitude is a reflection of your beliefs. A rider who displays
a negative attitude toward competition likely does not believe
in his/her ability to compete effectively against others. We
can choose an attitude for a particular moment; the key is hanging
on to that change. For example, a green rider chooses to have
a brave attitude with respect to jumping for the first time and
she is able to accomplish this. But does this mean she has a
brave attitude toward jumping in general? Does she firmly hold
the belief that she has the set of physical and mental skills
necessary to jump horses? What she does over time will tell us
this. What is the consistency of her observable behaviour and
what does this say about her attitude? She may get the job done,
but if we can see she is grabbing onto her horse's mouth and
appears terrified in her future experiences we may say she has
a fearful or uncertain attitude instead of a brave one. When
this rider develops her skill and gains confidence over jumps,
she will change her belief in herself and her attitude will follow.
3. Attitude is about expectation.
Your attitude is about what you expect may happen in a given
situation. For example, someone with a defeatist attitude approaches
certain situations with the belief he will not succeed, and this
influences his behaviour in such a way as to very often produce
a self-fulfilling prophecy. Have you ever known anyone who seems
to "sabotage" themselves? They appear to have solid
riding abilities and yet experience persistent failures while
in the show ring. It can be said that such a rider has an expectation
of failure, and thus holds a "negative attitude".
4. There is no one right attitude
to have.
Don't limit yourself to thinking you need to possess a "winning
attitude". There are many types of attitudes, only limited
by your creativity. What you choose is up to you, but it should
be meaningful. Remember, a winning attitude may mean different
things to different people.
5. A poor or negative attitude
often signals a deeper issue.
It could mean you are fearful or have confidence problems. I
have seen some riders adopt very negative attitudes to protect
themselves against failure. That way, their failures can be blamed
on their snarly attitude instead of their skill. A rider with
a very aggressive attitude may believe that horses need to be
controlled and dominated. This rider's attitude toward horses
will likely not change until he re-examines and redefines his
beliefs.
6. Since your attitude dictates
how you will approach things and situations, you can bet it will
impact on your horse.
And yes, your horse has an attitude but I suggest you don't worry
about it too much. Just as it is for you, saying your horse has
a poor or surly attitude is simply a judgment call that doesn't
change anything. But you can influence his behaviour by being
conscious of your own.
Tips for Changing your Attitude:
1. Decide what kind of attitude you want to promote, and in what
situation.
As riders, we hold many attitudes - toward your horse,
competition, learning, your trainer - all of which may be different.
Define the attitude you desire by writing it out on paper. Alternatively,
you can create a visual image of the attitude you want to adopt.
Cut out pictures and words from magazines that you think 'fit'
with your chosen attitude and make a collage with them. This
can serve as a visual reminder of your goal.
2. Ask yourself what kind
of behaviours a person with such an attitude would exhibit.
Do they handle mistakes in a certain way, communicate to their
coaches in a particular style? Observe others that you know have
this attitude.
3. Start making conscious
choices. Actively practice
the behaviours that match the attitude.
At first it will likely feel phony and awkward, but "try
them on" for a specified period (a month, for example) and
record what happens in a journal or notebook.
4. Persist.
Remember that surface changes are easy. Anyone can change for
a few hours or a day. But it is certain that, at some point,
your old beliefs will try to challenge your new style. They will
want to drag you back to what is known, what is easy. You can
create a lot of change for yourself by actively modifying your
behaviour, but sometimes it is not enough. You may have to go
deeper and examine the beliefs that supported your old behaviour.
They may be whispering messages like "you will never be
a really great rider", or "you don't have what it takes
to win". These beliefs are what may stand between you and
real change. Begin to challenge them and you will likely see
a change in your attitude.
It is normal and expected that
your progress will be up and down. I have seen many riders abandon
their efforts for change when they experience a failure. Don't
let this be you. Know that you will flip flop between old and
new behaviours. Be patient with yourself, but do get back on
track as soon as possible. Real change will take time and real
change is what you want - right?
